#AskWomen: The rules of money in a relationship

We ask four women how they feel about the male approach to finances and spending on first dates and in long-term relationships

The guy who always wants to go 50/50

Ellen, 30s

You know what? I was taught that a man is a provider and even if he would like to go 50/50 on something, the suggestion should come from me, not him. He needs to know that he is obligated to do everything – I only contribute when I want to.

Kelly, late 20s

I don’t really mind this – 50/50 is cool, but it’s nice to be spoilt once in a while, like a romantic getaway or a really lovely dinner at a nice restaurant.

Candice, late 20s

I can respect it. This is what I expect from modern couples. I’ve forced most of the guys that I’ve dated to go 50/50 because I’m that modern woman. So I kind of respect a guy that’s willing to put those old traditions behind him and recognise that we’re both working individuals.

Sihle, 30s 

I think it doesn’t always work. It depends on the relationship. You can’t ask me out on a date and then expect us to go half and half. You just have to foot it. But if we’ve been together for a while, then it’s not that big a deal because as much as it’s 50/50, the money is still ours.

The guy who never wants you to pay for anything

Ellen, 30s

That’s my kind of guy! Don’t get me wrong, I’m a working woman and very independent, but it’s also nice to have a man who wants to do everything for you. He shouldn’t think that because he contributes financially, I will now be his puppy. I still have a say and opinions and I can make decisions.

Kelly, late 20s

Now this can be a bit annoying. Sometimes I just want to pay – let me. Like I said, it’s nice to be spoilt once in a while, but sometimes I also want to spoil you.

Candice, late 20s

This would make me very uncomfortable because I’m so independent. It kind of makes me feel like a gold digger. I also want to put my contribution on the table. Yes, it’s nice to be spoilt every now and again, but every single time? No.

Minkie, 30s 

Awesome! It means I get to keep my money. I don’t mind this at all.

The guy who always forgets his wallet

Ellen, 30s

Darling, he will only forget it once. I promise you, there won’t be a next time. He’s a criminal. How do you forget your wallet on a date with a woman as gorgeous as myself?

Candice, late 20s

He must stay home and not ask people out. How convenient – please. I have no respect for these guys. It just says to me that you’re sleazy and use women.

Kelly, late 20s

That’s a huge problem. One time is fine, two times is a bit weird, but a third? I’m sorry, you’re just doing it on purpose and I can’t trust you.

Sihle, 30s

I run the first time it happens. How do you forget your wallet? Anything but that. It’s a bit dodgy. This guy is a liar.

The stingy guy who’s always concerned about the price

Ellen, 30s

It depends. If we’re in a relationship and we’ve set certain goals, then I understand. I do that as well. But if it’s a first date, he needs to go all out. First impressions are the ones that last.

Candice, late 20s

I am not comfortable with this at all. This guy should not ask me to go anywhere with him. You have no business asking me out if you don’t have money. But to give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he’s just a budget-conscious guy. He saves and invests and is not a reckless spender like me.

Kelly, late 20s 

There’s nothing wrong with being conscious of price, but I wouldn’t want someone to constantly ask how much everything costs. I understand that things are expensive these days, so I’m also not trying to bankrupt anyone.

I think this can only work if both parties are stingy. If the one is stingy and the other is generous, then the generous one is going to end up paying for everything.

Minkie, 30s

It depends, because maybe this person is responsible with the way they spend their money. It could actually be a plus in the long-run. As a woman, I must also be considerate of someone else’s wallet. I can’t look for the most expensive thing on the menu just because I can and then be concerned when the guy expresses his worry about the price.

Source: destinyman

Author: MC World

Share This Post On