THEY say a shag is just a shag, but shagging in a “made in Asia” car is just downright cheap.
Sunday World went searching for the ultimate sex mobile in which you will be shagged in style and comfort.
The ultimate shag mobile has to be a stretch limo as it has leg and head room for Africa.
Who can forget Lucy Liu seducing Seth Gabel then banging him in the back of a limo in the movie Dirty Sexy Money.
The limo has been a favourite with many Hollywood actors and musicians for decades.
Will Smith & Jada Pinkett-Smith did it for real in a Limo on the way to the 2009 Academy Awards. Angelina Jolie banged Billy Bob Thornton on the way to the 2000 MTV Movie Awards and told the media about it as they walked the red carpet.
This beast remains a stylish and competent seven-passenger SUV with loads of room. The words Noah’s Ark comes to mind.
Range Rover Sport HSE
Enjoy all-terrain shagging in this beauty with Adaptive Dynamics that constantly monitors the vehicle’s movements and reacts accordingly, minimising body roll to give you a more comfortable drive. Don’t shag and drive though, and don’t try the Evoque unless you are a midget.
Phantom Extended Wheelbase
The ultimate in luxury, it takes 60 pairs of hands to design, craft and construct a Rolls-Royce before it’s ready for its owner. It has impressive leg and head room of 1349 mm and 979 mm respectively. We are talking back seat of course. If you order one now, you may have to wait till 2018 for your shag.
You can shag in just about any car, but that’s none of our business.
BMW 650i convertible
I recently overheard a salesman telling a 60-something prospective customer that the car he was looking at was the ultimate “panty dropper”. They were standing in front of a BMW 650i convertible.
It’s well known that a prestige sports car can boost a person’s sex appeal, irrespective of gender. The price of the falling undies will, of course, be proportional to the prestige of the car being driven.
After all, sex always follows money and power. The power and note of the five litre V8 engine is the nearest you’ll ever get to being on a luxury speed boat. The bootylicious back end puts Kim Kardashian-West’s posterior to shame.
However, in the townships any beema will do the job just as well.
Audi TT Coupé
Audi South Africa has just introduced the third generation of the TT Coupé, and this pocket rocket has had a gravitational effect on bloomers since it was first introduced here in Mzansi in 2000. The TT Coupé comes with a four-cylinder engine, including turbocharging and direct injection. You are looking at R558000 for the normal two wheel drive and 642000 for the quattro version.
Ferrari 488 GTB
If you inherited old money or you are a tenderpreneur, nothing drops bloomers like the Ferrari.
If you didn’t know, there’s a new Ferrari 488 GTB on the market and it’s orgasmic. It can accelerate from 0-200km/h in 8.3 seconds and knickers don’t stand a chance.
Last month Ford unveiled the all-new GT, an ultra-high-performance supercar that will have many hearts and other organs throbbing. The GT is one of more than 12 new Ford Performance vehicles coming by 2020. This year the company will launch its iconic Shelby GT350 and Shelby GT350R, commonly known in the streets as the Mustang. No one will be wearing knickers in 2020.