Ok, I am all the way confused right now. Rewinding a bit….we are all aware that Bonang Matheba has been rumoured to be the reason why AKA & his baby mama DJ Zinhle broke up.
To be honest, people break up all the time, people cheat on each other all the time and people leave their partners for others all the time – nothing new. It’s life, and it’s always been like that. We found it like that, we go through it, we see it and we will leave it like that.
This picture of AKA & Bonang has been doing its rounds on social media, giving people the opportunity to have a say because of their dating rumours. However the one thing that has stood out for me is Bonang being called a Homewrecker. I don’t understand……I just don’t. I’ve always thought a homewrecker is a person who breaks up a marriage. That’s what I’ve always known it to be, but clearly I was wrong.
I then googled; What is a Homewrecker? and this is what I found >> ‘A person who is blamed for the breakup of a marriage or family, especially due to having engaged in an affair with one member of a couple.‘ Ok, so in this case Bonang broke a family? Is that why she is being called a Homewrecker?
Wikipedia says; “A homewrecker (sometimes styled as home wrecker or home-wrecker) is a person, object or activity that causes or comes close to causing the breakup of a marriage (or similar partnership). The homewrecker is said to have taken one of the spouses away from the marriage, thus “wrecking” the marital home. Most commonly, the label “homewrecker” is applied to a person having an affair with someone else’s spouse or domestic partner; it can also refer to other forces that are destructive to a marital relationship and tied only to one party to that relationship”
Look, I am not pointing fingers or taking anyone’s side here. I just needed to understand. When you get into a relationship with someone, I believe we all communicate with our partners about what we want out of it, which takes me back to the article I wrote HEREasking How Long Do You Wait? A lot of women are not open or honest about what they want from the relationships they get into. If there is no official commitment between the two of us, then trust me – we are BOTH single. That’s what I believe and I swear by that statement. You can date forever okusalayo one of you can walk out the next day with no conscious and marry someone they just met. It’s life!
Anyway, back to Bonang & AKA. Kante how long have they been friends? They have been taking pictures together for as long as I can remember. Bonang was also the lead girl in AKA’s video, Jealousy. The above picture goes back to the days before AKA & Zinhle if I am not mistaken. So them being seen together is not really something new. If they are indeed in a relationship, does it mean it just started now or they’ve beeeeeen at it? Because from where I am standing, Zinhle came into the picture when Bonang was already in AKA’s life…..whether they were dating then, we don’t know but seeing a picture of them together now doesn’t surprise me. My point is, nobody knows what’s really going on in a relationship except those involved. We only see what they want us to see. It’s always easy to point fingers and call women names as if they wrecked the home on their own. It takes two. Men always get away with it in such situations, leaving women to fight each other when they are the root of the problem. Sigh!
My mind went AWOL when I was reading the Homewrecker statements. If we go with the above mentioned definitions, it means we are all homewreckers mos? 99% of the people we get into relationships with are not single when we meet them. Either the person is gonna lie and tell you they are single when they are not, they’ll say they are unhappy in their current relationship, they feel a deeper connection with you than with the other person, or they are just in that relationship for the sake of the child blah blah…. all those lies or maybe it’s the truth, one can never know but it happens. We are all homewreckers shem, our homes have been wrecked too because at some point we’ve cheated, fallen out of love and moved on to other beds. I am not condoning ‘Homewrecking’ behavior, I am just saying it’s part of our daily lives qha!