The only thing worse than Facebook having all of your personal information is, well, Facebooknot having all of your personal information.
The Data Drive imagines Facebook thrown into chaos after Mark Zuckerberg steals all of his service’s data, flees the company and goes into hiding.
The social network, now under the leadership of former Texas mattress salesman Buck Calhoun (“I’m not Mark Zuckerberg. I’m a straight-shooting’, bear-skinnin’, pistol-twirlin’, high-cholestrol-having’ old boy from the Lone Star State”), is apparently struggling to rebuild out of a Dunkin’ Donuts in Sacramento.
“I chose to parody Facebook because it’s the most universal of the social media sites we have,” Kolitz told Mashable. “Pretty much everyone uses Facebook — it’s the lowest common denominator of the social web.”
For anyone obsessed with web culture, The Data Drive is an Internet playground, full of digital media jokes and Easter eggs.
Instead of branded content, brands like Chipotle have started “advertorial messaging,” sending you DMs with deals and discounts. Google has a new feature called “Google Scraps” that archives discarded pieces of “handwritten ephemera.”
And it doesn’t end there. Kolitz teased even more features: “There is a New York Times paywall where, to get past the paywall, you have to choose which NYT employee gets fired. There’s a real-time trend piece, the idea being that opinions and trend pieces need to get out there as soon as possible, even as they are still being written. And there’s actually a deep web that is hidden behind one of the pieces.”
Don’t let The Data Drive’s playful style fool you. Beneath its crafty exterior is a deeply cynical underbelly. It pokes fun at both the digital media industry and those who consume it.
For example, in a post on the site, the fictional Facebook sends a memo outlining its goal.
“Usually we determine the truth about our users via feeding their thousands of lies and projections into a fancy algorithm. But now that your information is gone, we need YOU to be that algorithm! Are you capable of turning your many falsehoods and delusions into targetable truth? If you are, we’re offering access to a fun font for your statuses.”
Check out the The Data Drive here. And let’s just be thankful that this dystopian social network isn’t here … yet.